We are in the midst of unprecedented stylistic turnover and cultural obsolescence. As quickly as one movement gains a foothold in the mainstream, another has already blossomed underground. This cycle is ultimately binary: a cultural product cannot have mass appeal and be “cool” simultaneously. When the Chainsmokers hit their meteoric rise, my friends with better taste were all in on Kendrick Lamar. By the time commercial radio started playing “Humble” in 2017, they had moved on to Soundcloud Rap; and that’s when I stopped being cool. You can’t get much cooler than Kendrick or Childish Gambino, so it felt like the right time for me to exit the game.
Pop embraces the steady march of cultural turnover exceptionally well. Established artists collaborate with the “cool” upcoming artists, providing a signal boost to the work of the latter and maintaining the relevancy of the former. Eventually, those established artists move on from CHR (Contemporary Hit Radio) to AC (Adult Contemporary), and end their careers on Classic Hits channels. This industry succession plan is good for the genre: it promotes popular artists while also rewarding them for supporting new ones. This is why Pop in 2020 may be the most democratic genre: if a song hits right, kids stream it, radio stations play it, and the masses love it (until it eventually gets displaced, continuing the cycle of perpetual growth).
Rock couldn’t be more opposite — the genre has legions dudes with wrap-around shades on Twitter debating whether or not an artist is truly ROCK. This usually involves shoddy memes about Led Zeppelin lyrics being ‘deeper’ than Jay-Z verses, and how computers aren’t real instruments—but tambourines are!
There’s not enough time in this newsletter to unpack the racist and misogynistic overtones in this meme, but my opinion is that the Beatles are terrible, and that lyric is some fake-profound crap from a Creative Writing: Poetry 301 class.
I scoured the replies section of Twitter, collated the data, and developed three simple rules for identifying REAL ROCK:
Men (women OK but only if they’re badass)
Guitars (the loud kind)
Works in a Sports Montage (but not basketball or soccer)
If you don’t believe me, check out this sweet list of Billboard’s Top 10 ROCK Songs of the Decade. I’m not going to debate whether or not the bands on here are ROCK or not, you can read the Twitter replies for that.
Sports Montage-able? Check. Guitars (the loud kind)? Big Check. Men? BIG CHECK.
For such a storied and diverse genre, this is how the industry classifies modern ROCK. It’s why Imagine Dragons is on this list three times, but Lorde’s “Royals” didn’t place in the Top 10 — even though it ranked ahead of every Rock song on the Decade Hot Rock 100. “Royals,” undeniably alternative rock (if we have to pick a genre), went #1 on the Hot 100 and Hot Rock. Walk the Moon’s “Shut Up and Dance” topped the Hot 100, but peaked at #4 on the Hot Rock chart. But one song checks the boxes, the other doesn’t, so “Shut Up and Dance” is officially ROCK.
This extremely narrow scope prevents change and evolution—the cultural drum is beating, but Rock isn’t moving. If the Rock embraced Lorde as the next logical step in the genre’s evolution, maybe we wouldn’t need to keep automatically handing a Best Rock Song Grammy to The Foo Fighters every year for simply existing.
IT’S ROCKISM
I feel confident giving you these secrets because I was once a full-fledged gatekeeping rockist. Up to the age of 16, ROCK (especially the CLASSIC kind) was the only authentic style of music worthy of critical discussion and consumption. While other teenagers listened to theatrical emo wannabes like Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance*, my sophisticated taste led me to The Doors and Bruce Springsteen. And while it remains true that the key to the universe can only be found in the engine of an old parked car, repeatedly pointing this out to my peers did not go over well.
*I’ve publicly recanted every pre-2012 opinion on these bands. They rule, and I was wrong.
At some point in my junior year of high school, I discovered The Replacements, Sleater-Kinney, and The Killers. These bands were a creative step outside my comfort zone, but still ROCKED enough to reinforce my preconceived notion that loud guitars made real music, and everything else (i.e. Pop and Rap) was computer-generated corporate nonsense. I held onto this ROCK-primacy until I could legally drink alcohol. I took a course at Boston College taught by music journalist Maura Johnston and discovered the undiagnosed illness I had been suffering from for twenty-one years: Rockism.
[Rockism] reduces rock 'n' roll to a caricature, then uses that caricature as a weapon. Rockism means idolizing the authentic old legend (or underground hero) while mocking the latest pop star; lionizing punk while barely tolerating disco; loving the live show and hating the music video; extolling the growling performer while hating the lip-syncher.
- Kelefa Sanneh
Reading this felt like reading WebMD for certain moles on my arms: every word made me feel worse and a little shameful. It was Rockism on a personal level, and my personal taste suffered.
But when Rockism is applied at scale to the entire genre, the snake begins to eat its own tail. The ROCK industry turns a blind ear to CHVRCHES’ catchy hooks and synthesizers, but fires on all cylinders to promote Led Zeppelin cosplayers Greta Van Fleet.*
We are watching Rock ignore New Wave II.
*I only included the link to appear fair and neutral. Don’t click it.
CHVRCHES headlines festivals in Europe. Gang of Youths headlines radio festivals in Australia. The 1975 are the biggest “youth” band in the world. You’d be hard pressed to hear any of these acts on Rock radio. Why? Because they don’t sound like ROCK. They don’t sound like Guns’n’Roses or The Foo Fighters or The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Rockism makes Rock allergic to any song with a hook. Rock radio stations around the country will play “Jane Says” every hour, but have yet to realize that Miss June’s “Best Girl” is better than every song currently on their playlists.
Rock is beyond the point of no return. Even new acts that wear leather jackets and sling electric guitars lack the dangerous energy of Iggy Pop and The Clash—they’re wearing the right costume, but that’s about it. I blame The Strokes, whose rise nuked Rock back into the Cold War. The Manhattan quintet rehashed classic punk 30 years too late and were crowned rock royalty on the spot.
America’s youth didn’t stop being interested in Rock, mainstream Rock stopped being interesting.
What about ‘Alternative’ Rock?
Unfortunately, ‘Alternative’ is also drenched in Rockism—prompting the question: “alternative to what?” Alt Rock has its own pantheon of gods, a younger set of men with loud guitars writing songs for sports montages: Green Day, Weezer, Foo Fighters, Black Keys, etc. If ‘Alternative’ is expected to counter mainstream culture, it is failing fantastically by reinforcing the rockist primacy.
The problem here, fortunately, is that there are limitless alternatives to mainstream culture. If you’re into Vaporwave, there are message boards. Pop Punkers have blogs. People who have no preferences but have superiority complexes read Pitchfork. Everyone has their own curated version of ‘alternative.’ Is there a platform capable of delivering a real alternative to the mainstream, kicking Rockism to the curb, and helping Rock flourish into the future?
Alternative Radio.
Radio continues to reach over 93% of Americans monthly across all demographics. There is even a commercial radio format dedicated to Alternative Rock (not counting the hundreds of college and online stations). If Alternative Rock stations altered their playlists to accommodate newer, genre-defying artists, they could redefine what “alternative” and “rock” means. Radio remains a tastemaker, and stations should use that power for good.
This is already happening. The only station worth listening to within rimshot of New York, Alt 92.3, mixes Green Day and Nirvana alongside The Front Bottoms and Sharon Van Etten. Their playlist relies on established records, but sprinkles in enough new songs to stay interesting.
In a New York Times profile by Joe Coscarelli, Alt 92.3 Program Director Mike Kaplan acknowledged that the goal isn’t to reinforce ROCK’s primacy.
We don’t even say the word ‘rock’ on the radio station — we’re New York’s new alternative. I don’t think there’s a big win in using the word rock today. People say they want new — and they do, and we do give it to them in the right dose. We’re redefining what the word alternative means, especially for New York City.
On the other side of the World, Australian radio station Triple J takes “dropping the rock” one step further and identifies solely as a “youth station.”
triple j is the national youth broadcaster for young Australians. We aim to bring you the latest, greatest music and the stories that matter on the radio (covering over 98% of the nation), online, on your phone, and in your ‘hood for special events.
I’ve spent hours listening to Triple J, and it’s addicting. The songs are fresh, the imaging (station audio branding) is fun, and the hosts have great accents. I’ve never felt the need to stop the stream of genre agnosticism. This is where I first heard girl in red’s “dead girl in the pool.” — basically Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” but for indie kids. You’ll never hear this on an American alternative station.
I want a Triple J for America.